Curry Time

Off to India in a few hours. The plan - eat loads of curry. Will try to post, but not sure if there'll be time or energy. Will definitely blog about it on my return.

주부샐활

I noticed this magazine while getting a coffee today, and was amused by the title, which means "Housewife Life". One of the articles seems to be about making kimchi for the winter on a small scale. If I was a housewife I'd buy it I reckon.

New Low

I've never been a fan of the English-language media over here, but this article is a new low.

I'm going to quote the whole thing in case they delete it.

Alien Graveyard Found

Extraterrestrial cemetery in Rwanda, Central Africa which is at least 500 years old, was discovered.

According to the Weekly World News, Dr. Hugo Childs, the Swiss anthropologist said, "There must be 200 bodies buried there and not a single one of them is human."

Dr. Childs and his colleagues reportedly discovered the alien graveyard on a routine survey of the Rwandan jungle.

"Soil and tissue samples indicate the bodies have been in the ground since the 1400s. We're now trying to figure out where they came from ― and what killed them," said Dr. Childs.

The creatures themselves were much taller and skinnier than humans and they stood about 7 feet tall. Their heads were larger than the average man's and they had no mouth, nose or eyes to speak of.

Dr. Childs speculated that the 200 aliens were part of a single landing party that encountered a deadly virus. Because they would have had no immunity to Earth disease, he added, something as simple as the flu could have wiped out the entire party.

He would not take reporters to the site, for fear of the bodies being disturbed. However, he promised to reveal the location once the excavation was complete. "It will change the world," Dr. Childs said.

Smile on your face during school hour?

I had to go to a workshop on Saturday. We were told in an email from the company that "Everyone take part in the work shop. Please attend everyone, We don't understand Personal matter." This is BS of course, and I am not contractually obligated to go, but decided to anyway, to be a good little worker, and stay on their good side.

The meeting started at 10:20am, which is 20 minutes later than I usually get up on a weekday, at a school further from home than my own. Predictably, it was a complete waste of time.

The first speaker gave us a presentation on how to teach writing. I suspect she plagiarised most of it. She gets points for standing in front of a room full of foreign teachers and giving a presentation in their language. I felt sorry for her because no one was answering her questions, so I started giving cheeky answers. No matter what I said, she said "Yes, good!" and then told everyone the actual answer. I learnt nothing for her.

The second speaker was a Korean-American guy working for the publishing company which produces the awesome English Time series. He gave us some tips on how to teach the books. He was more entertaining than the first lady, and tried to inject some enthusiasm into the room, but I could tell he wasn't into it at all. Imagine a hungover-looking guy in a silver suit saying "Come on guys. Let's have fun. Make some noise. Yay." in a bored monotone. His presentation was prepared about as well as my average lesson, which means he winged it. I sympathised with "Okay, look at page four of your handout, oh, wait, there is no page four... um... page five, wait a minute, no, okay, let's play a game, who wants to play a game? Nobody? Okay, no game, who wants some stickers? Stickers. Yay." He actually gave us stickers.

The third speaker was late and I was pretty mad. I hate lateness, and three coffees and two boring presentations later I was ready to die in my chair. She finally showed up and told us that she was late because she had been doing another presentation in Incheon. The she boasted that she is 48 years old, has been an English teacher at an elementary school for 24 years, has four children, two girls (one studying at Seoul National University, one at Ewha Women's University) and two boys, and that she hopes to be Vice-Principal in two years. I hated her already. She then wasted the next hour of my life by going on about games and fun and making kids repeat stuff. It was pure torture and I learnt nothing.

The workshop wasn't a total loss, because we got some cash, and then a delicious American-Chinese style meal at Ho Lee Chow's which I highly recommend. Way better than Korean-Chinese food. We also got a shiny certificate which is framed and hanging on the wall above me. It says:

The up person is completed the educational theory for the after school program Teacher temperament improvement and knowledge education like above and Korea After School Education bestows this certificate.

You'd think they could have gotten at at least one of us to proof-read it.

Best of all though, and the reason for blogging about this in the first place, we got a piece of paper titled "Self Evaluation Checklist For Foreign Teachers". We are supposed to fill it out on the 15th of every month, and rate ourselves from A (Excellent) to D (Need Improvement). There are 123 questions, and a majority are hilarious.

My personal favourites:

2. Put slippers on when arrived to school?

27. Keep promise to students and make sure non-school related promises are not made.

28. Do you have own charming way to make students listen and follow you?

58. My voice in classroom is little bit loud.

63. I repeat English over and over again.

72. I plan and teach important English syllables and vowels.

78. I use exclamanation[sic] English phrase 3 ~ 5 minutes out of each hour.

122. I have memorized different level of of[sic] English poems.

123. I often hum English songs.

10 Things I Hate About Korea (2009)

Every couple of days I open my inbox to find an email notification that someone has commented on my post "10 Things I Hate About Korea". I'm embarrassed to say that this post has received far more comments than all the others combined, and I have just found out that it comes up first when you google "korea hate" or "i hate korea". Someone must be linking it somewhere. Despite my lengthy disclaimer, and several follow-up comments in the same vein, idiots still write stuff like this gem that 'Poor Koreans' wrote last week,

Koreans are all or nothing type people. Very fatalistic, overly dramatic, very self pitying human beings... they over react but they also cower just as quickly when confronted... oh such poor little creatures... that's what years of oppression from outsiders will do... a big facade but no bite to the bark... the list just keeps going and going... no they cannot rise above and beyond, don't know how... who has the time when they need to wallow in self pity over why everybody has wronged them...

Pure nonsense of course, but just as I seem to attract nutters on public transport, they are like moths to a flame to a post which I feel doesn't represent me or this blog very well at all.

As a result, I've decided to revisit the ten things I hated (actually nine things) and see whether my opinions have changed, or whether Korea has changed, over the last two years, two months and two days.

Before I start though, I'll say it again for those of you who are a little slow. I like Korea. I like Koreans. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here. If you, on the other hand, hate Korea and/or Koreans, then we probably don't have much in common, and I definitely don't want to hear your opinions on the matter. I just like to have a rant every now and then. I could find 10 things I hate about Australia too, or about anywhere I've ever been, or ever worked, and that's just for starters.

Having said that, thanks to all the funny commenters who got what I was trying to say, and who shared their experiences. None of this was directed at you guys. Koreans, don't be offended please, I like you.

Anyway, here's my list, revisited.

1)Racism. This is one area where there seem to be a lot of improvements. Koreans are increasingly conscious of their bad reputation in this regard, and they are making an effort to change. High profile cases like that of Bonojit Hussain and a plethora of articles on the subject in American newspapers such as the New York Times and the Washington Post have brought the issue to the forefront and young people especially are well aware of their country's shortcomings when it comes to racism. Movies such as Where is Ronny?, starring a Korean-speaking Bangladeshi, are also contributing to this.

However, despite my Korean being infinitely better then two years ago, I still get people who refuse to communicate properly, but that's a long rant for another day.

2)Toilets. These are also improving. New buildings usually have excellent toilet facilities, and the squatter seems to be on the way out. Subway station bathrooms are being refurbished and the new ones are world-class. H1A1 Influenza and the resulting public health campaign to have people cover their mouths when they cough and wash their hands after going to the bathroom have worked wonders. Soap and hand-dryers have miraculously appeared in most bathrooms, and all of my students wash their hands now.

Having said that, the culture of throwing toilet paper into a can instead of flushing it remains. I wish I had had a camera the day I went to the toilet at Starbucks next to CGV Gangnam where, in stark contrast to the shiny international franchise packed with well-dressed sophisticated young people with laptops and smart phones, a massive pile of soiled toilet paper overflowed out of the bin and onto the floor beneath a sign saying in English and Korean not to flush the paper because it blocks the plumbing. I flushed.

3)Driving. Still terrible. Koreans need to learn that red lights are unambiguous - they always mean stop. I'm sick of cars rolling through pedestrian crossings behind and in front of me while the green man timer shows 30 seconds remaining. I'm sick of motorbikes driving on the footpath, and waiting to cross the road at a crossing with me, spewing fumes into my face.

Bus drivers are the worst. They all need to be put through a re-education camp, Pyongyang-style, and learn how to use their brakes properly. Koreans always tell me, "Oh, they are on such a tight schedule, and traffic is so bad, that's why they have to stop so suddenly.". Bullshit. I noticed while in Australia in July that the bus drivers were able to come to a complete stop very quickly, without throwing people off their feet. Sometimes I think the drivers here must be taking part in some kind of challenge where they get points for every passenger who falls over or slides down the bus, extra points for pregnant women and old people. If I had my way I'd fire the lot of them.

4)Dirt. I thought this was getting better, but then I travelled outside of Korea a couple of times this year and realised that, no, I'd just gotten used to it. In general, people here still don't care about the finer details of anything, and as long as this is the case, I'll keep complaining about dirty windows and signs. H1A1 has helped out here too though. Whereas before I had to clean my own classroom, now professional cleaners have been hired to disinfect the place every morning. I feel much healthier now, as I was only able to get it so clean with a miniature-sized dustpan and brush.

5)Grocery Shopping. This is getting better too, slowly, but there is still a lack of western products. To be fair, as some commenters have pointed out, this can probably be explained by a lack of demand for western products. If I was writing a new list, I'd leave this one out.

6)Obsolete Foods. I'd probably leave this one out too. I like 떡 and 부대찌개. 미역국 still tastes like shit, but I can't really criticise them for eating seaweed soup while back at home some people still consider boiled vegetables edible. Anyone who eats potatoes in any form has no right to point the finger.



7)Garbage Disposal. Still atrocious. Again, it comes down to taking pride in the finer details. I don't get how well-educated people living in shiny modern apartments with all the gizmos, wearing nice designer clothes, working highly-skilled jobs etc. can think nothing of taking a bag of garbage downstairs and throwing in onto a huge rotting heap by the side of the road, or coming back to their car after having it parked on the street to find it covered in leaflets, fliers and hooker cards, and just shrug and throw them all into the gutter.

To those of you who suggested that I just lived in a dirty area, I have lived in five different places now, mostly in rich areas, and none of them had a decent system in place. True, some places have a recycling system, and where it exists it seems to work well. However, getting yelled at by a security guard for not sorting your cans and bottles properly does not a good garbage disposal system make. Here are the places I've lived and how they deal with household waste.

길동 Gil-dong (2006-07) - General rubbish goes in special bags, placed on the side of the footpath in front of the building. Cans, bottles and paper are heaped next to the piles of garbage bags. Food waste goes in smaller different-coloured bags which are torn up by cats in the night, leaving food waste and kimchi-juice all over the sidewalk, next to the puddles of vomit. The lot is collected by different teams of private workers with their own trucks. They don't care if they make a mess.

논현동 Nonhyeon-dong 1 (2007) - Same system for general trash. Paper, cans and bottles go in a green mesh bag. This bag helps to keep the recyclables from being strewn across the street. Food waste goes in special cat-proof bins. The problem is, the bins are not outside every building and are filthy to touch, so most people don't use them and just hide their food waste in with the regular trash. Same collection system as Gildong.

구의동 Guui-dong (2007- 2008) - No trash collection at all on my small side street. The residents of all the neighbouring properties had to carry their bags out to the main road, where it would pile up metres high. Lots of rats and stray cats in this neighbourhood. No food waste system. Since people were dumping their rubbish away from their homes, they no longer felt compelled to use the official bags, which cost money. Same system of garbage collection.

논현동 Nonhyeon-dong 2 (2008-2009) - Same as Nonhyeon-dong 1 except the food waste bins seemed to be non-existent in this part of the suburb. The residents of the surrounding buildings were the worst I have seen when it comes to indiscriminate dumping, and the streets were filthy. No government trash collection system here either.

서초동 Seocho-dong (2009) - When I moved in I asked about the garbage disposal system, because I know that officetels (the kind of building I live in, mixed commercial and residential) are usually pretty anal about putting things in the right bins and using the right bags. I was surprised to be told to simply dump all of my garbage in a large area next the side of the building, shared with a couple of restaurants. People are hired to sort it all out into seperate bins, and it is hauled away every couple of nights. This area is absolutely disgusting and is definitely a health hazard. On weekends the it all grows into a huge mountain and I pity the poor old ladies that have to wade and sift through it. The whole area is a disgrace when it comes to garbage disposal - on my way to the bus stop every morning I pass pile after pile of restaurant food waste just carelessly bagged up and thrown onto the side of the road.

8)Noise pollution. As bad as ever, but I'm used to it. I'll sleep through anything now. On the plus side, I blast my home theatre, and although the sub shakes the light fittings in the ceiling loose, no-one ever complains.

9)Lack of Common Courtesy. Big improvements here. There are concerted public service campaigns running on buses and subways trying to get people to be civilised, and it's slowly working. These are quite entertaining, and I think I'm going to start taking photos and trying to translate some of them here. I think in another five years there will be no problems in this area. I've also come to like the culture of speed and pushiness, but that too is a topic for another day.

I'm going to put a new one in this previously vacant space. 10)Smoking. This time last year I would have had this in my 10 Things I Love About Korea list, but now that I've gone almost a year without touching one I've decided that the only way to keep off them is to become a militant anti-smoker. It's a filthy habit and it should be banned. Koreans smoke way too much, and I've even noticed a lot of women smoking in public lately. The nerve. I'd like to see smoking by either sex banned in all public spaces both indoors and outdoors, and prices go up from a tempting 2500won to an Aussie-like 12500won. That would be awesome.

Funny Law Disappears

Not much hilarious news lately, but this one was a gem.

I love how men were being prosecuted for promising marriage for sex, and I love how feminists opposed it. I love how the article blames the Japanese at the end.

Sad News

Back in April, I posted about a shooting range we went to in Busan, and the fun that was had there. I thought it was great, but as my brother noted on his Facebook video description, "The place did seem a bit dodgy though, and the owner was a maniac.".

Earlier this week I read about a fire at a Busan shooting range, and decided it was a different place after seeing a couple of photos. Then today I was looking at a few more here, and I realised that it was the place we went after all. I hope the guy who showed us around isn't among the four Korean dead, but as the fire started in the shooting area, it seems likely that he is.

Seven Japanese have died so far, and more are in hospital. I think one of the Koreans, a 67 year old woman, died in hospital also. I tried to find out the names and ages of the victims to see if the owner might have been one of them, but there are an overwhelming number of Korean-language articles on the topic, and my reading is just too slow to wade through them all.

This Korea Time article corroborates the owner's story that Yakuza patronised the establishment, and I wonder if the guys there on the weekend were really your average tourists.



While we were there it never occurred to me that the place might be a fire hazard. I guess I was just too busy enjoying being able to clown around with guns. I wouldn't have been surprised to see a headline such as "Tourist Shoots Self in the Head" but I am shocked to hear about the fire. Early speculation suggested that a cigarette was the cause of the blaze, but now they seem to think that there was an explosion in the shooting area. Either way, it's a tragic incident.



One good thing that may emerge is that fire safety standards in Korea improve - I would like to see less locked and chained exit doors at my school for one. Fire drills are a problem too. We all thought it was funny that during the joke of a drill at my first school here, which was located in a large 10-storey building, we were told to take our classes up to a tiny area on the roof.